When James Calvert went out as a missionary to the cannibals of the Fiji Islands, the ship captain tried to turn him back, saying, "You will lose your life and the lives of those with you if you go among such savages." To that, Calvert replied, "We died before we came here."I'm reminded that God delights in conducting His kingdom mission of spreading the Gospel, not through the strong, but through the yielded. (II Cor 4:7) My natural tendency is to, "
work for God to the limit of [my] incompetency, [rather] than to the limit of God's omnipotencency," as missionary Hudson Taylor said.
When my friends and I plan a witnessing event I feel bold and impassioned with the Gospel. Then we arrive. I look at the menagerie of people milling around and I face a wave of mental excuses why I'm not qualified to share. "I'm not educated enough to know all the answers, I'm not outgoing enough, not humorous enough, and my knees are knocking. I need more training, practice, and time to prepare." Fear keeps me clutching tightly to self. How do we let go?
We must die. The Bible teaches we find victory over fears of inadequacy by looking to the cross and dying to self, dying to the praise of men, and surrendering our comforts. "That which thou sowest is not quickened, except it die" I Cor 15:36. When we die the Holy Spirit spills His new life and light in us and through us (John 12:24). Look at nature-even a flower must drop its silky petals and fling back everything in order to scatter seeds of new life.
Dying to self is not natural or glamorous. Sometimes it means going out when I would rather stay put or speaking the truth when it's more comfortable to be quiet. It may mean praying rather than playing, listening rather than talking, or putting my priorities aside in order to serve, and go. The apostle Paul said "I die daily, for some have not the knowledge of God." I Cor 15:31,33.
Doesn't it seem that dying to self is the essential qualification for following Jesus Christ to the uttermost parts of the world. Death precedes life. It is one of the most glorious kingdom miracles. I examine my own heart today, on this National Day of Prayer. Lord, is there some opportunity for me to die to self today? Oh, that we would run to the old rugged cross and learn from Jesus what it means to die to self, so others might live.